The other day I said to the bf, "John Mayer reminds me of New York and M. Ward makes me think of our days in San Francisco" to which he responded, "You've got it all wrong. M. Ward made it big in Portland and John Mayer in Atlanta"
That seemed enough to generate a nod out of him.
If you ask me to name the city that left the deepest etch in my heart, I would have to say NY. Before NY, it was London. But we already know what my thoughts are of London today.
What irks me is I could never explain why. Could it be because the very first secret rendezvous I had with a special someone was to NY? Despite the ominous Chinatown bus drivers with cigarettes permanently glued to their lips, we managed the most relaxing ride sharing what I still believe to be the best play list of my life, huddled in a world only the 2 of us knew. Or maybe it's because the Dexter crew's first group trip was to NY, the 4 of us crashing in a hotel room, hopping through Chinatown, making silly poses in Central Park and stuffing our young faces silly with Gray's Papaya in the middle of the day. Same one that ended with an unexpected stop at White Castle because we all had the munchies. I'm just now reminded of a meal at Nobu with Viv and another at Bar Americain with Wendy. What about my very first time on 5th avenue? Or 6th? Crashing at friends' places and hotels walking through various neighborhoods. Upper West Side. Uptown. East Village. Lower East Side. Even Brooklyn. And dinners alone in a well-tailored suit.
I have to believe it's none of these. One day, I'd like to find my way back.
It's odd how I'm thinking this because Singapore is really starting to show signs of promise. I haven't been happier since the bf and I arrived. And it only dawned on me where I was 2 months ago when I found this draft blog for bumblebeegrad dated November 11:
...that's what I aim to be.
Making lemonade out of lemons. Seeing the silver lining in every cloud. However you like to describe it.
When I'm not holed up in my room or working 12 hour days, I do meet some pretty cool folks. So far, they include 1 salsa teacher, a handful of lawyers and some artsy folks. Not to mention award-worthy Pictionary and charades team players.
This weekend was undeniably better than the ones spent thinking about (...).
I still don't love Singapore but I figure I'd make the most of it since I'm here. After all, it makes the bf and I happy to be able to wake up to each other's smiles - at the least."
Sometimes being nostalgic hurts.