Tuesday, September 23, 2008
How are you doing?
I've been asked this question many times since the big move. Each time, I answer with a riddle: It's home but it isn't. It's weird, but not in a bad way. Everything feels familiar yet unfamiliar. Things are the same, but not really. And finally the age old, I'm not sure.
In KL, I feel comfortable with family and old friends but our house, the one my dad spent a year building, doesn't quite feel like home yet. I realize it's because I've stayed there a lot less than I have our San Francisco apartments or the BU brown stones. I haven't figured out the complicated steam shower knobs and there's no mirror in my room. My wardrobe remains empty, the bulk of my clothes arriving in a week without certainty as to whether or not they'll be homed in Singapore or KL. Don't even ask me how to work the remote.
I love this house. I just haven't learned how to make it my own yet.
And here in Singapore, the bf's place is as comfortable as a house could ever be with its cozy spaces and dust-free shelves. The bathrooms are filled with rays of sunshine in the morning, and I can tell you that there's nothing better than standing under a shower head that literally rains on your face while overlooking a "jungle." Sure there isn't enough closet space, but that could easily be solved with a trip to IKEA. I haven't washed a single dish or cooked a single meal since I arrived. My manicure is impeccable. My mind, confused.
Looking back in my life, I don't recall having any problems adapting. I mean I've moved from LA to Boston and Boston to London then Boston to San Francisco with merely 2 suitcases in hand. I've lived in so many different dorms over the summer I can't even remember the addresses. During a Social Styles team building event, I was deemed the account person with highest adaptability skills. Not a surprise, considering my history.
What makes this move more confusing is that Asia has always been home. And because most of my independent life developed while in the States, the territory I'm most familiar with, this all seems too new. Lose me downtown in New York, LA or San Francisco and I'll figure my way home. Lose me downtown in Singapore, I may still be fine. Lose me in KL, and I'm not sure. Maybe in a few months I will be.