Sunday, April 8, 2007

The John Mayer effect

My post on John Mayer’s Stop this train was fairly recent. In that entry I described how personal this song meant to me. How I feel like life is moving too fast and I’m growing up sooner than I think I should. How I’m not really sure what to do about it. Maybe I didn't put it exactly that way. But I meant to.

It wasn’t until the other day as I sat in the bf’s car when he hummed Slow dancing in a burning room that tears welled up in my eyes and I was reminded of all the John Mayer songs in our 2 ½ years. For reasons only we know, ‘our song’ remains It’s summertime by The Flaming Lips. Then I thought Yoshimi battles the pink robots was the album that would stay with us for the rest of our lives. I must’ve been wrong.

During summers in his Boston apartment, I used to sit on the bed reading as he strummed his guitar to John Mayer songs. Often times he would motion for me to sit on his lap, and recited lyrics softly in my ears as his fingers casually grazed the melodic strings. The first song was Wheel depicting how he felt about his previous relationship. As ours progressed, he played Come back to bed jokingly whenever we made up from our usual squabbles. Split screen sadness was all I listened to when he was gone for the holidays. We had had a big fight before he left.

My love for John Mayer grew month after month. Milestone after milestone. Something’s (always) missing and I could relate. I was captivated by Daughters thinking how my father must love this song knowing he has 4 daughters to share his affections for. Post graduation I fell hard for City Love as I dreamed of living in NY but secretly hated the name in the song as it depicted the bf’s ex. Still for the longest time City Love remained my favorite song and not his because it was mine to dream about.

When Continuum came out, the bf said the sweetest thing. That he would want nothing better than to sing The heart of life to his daughter in bed. These shared secrets coming from him meant the world to me and yet as he hummed Slow dancing in a burning room I felt my chest tighten as I try to figure it out myself.

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