When all fails...

I started the bf's car today and spent 5 whole minutes tucked into the passenger's seat reminiscing about old times.With the last-spun track from Wilco's A Ghost is Born playing on the stereo, I couldn't help but feel nostalgic for moments that weren't too long ago. Why does it feel like forever since I last experienced sunshine in the city? Has it really been raining in SF for 3 whole months? It was then when I realized, that it's been a full season since the bf left.

To be so far away from the person you love isn't easy especially when you've lived together for 3 consecutive years, spending 24/7 of your days together work aside. What amazes me most is how we didn't get sick of each other to a point of nausea! I decided (once again) right after that moment of realization, that it's time to stop moping -- as much as I think I can't help it. We'll see each other again that's for sure. When, we don't know.

So as to avoid losing those moments in between, I turned to my kitchen for comfort.

The Ultimate Veggie Burger by Heidi from 101 Cookbooks. I've been craving a good veggie burger for months now and have steadfastly refused the frozen variety (did I tell you I decided to swear off frozen food too? That is, of course, after my last box of Stouffer's). Hence - the veggie burger made from scratch. It's great because the "bun" itself is the patty. I usually just toss the bun out and wish for an extra patty so eliminating it altogether was perfect


The filling: micro sprouts, avocados, beefsteak tomatoes, and a sprinkling of paprika


Served with sparkling POM juice and blueberries, this made a hearty lunch


Leftovers allowed for an avocado salad with Sun Chips on the side. Sun Chips are so great they make living in the States worth while. The Garden Salsa flavor sounds iffy, but is worth a try


Chinese herbal soup from Eu Yan Sang with dried scallops and wolfberries


Organic wholewheat pasta Puttanesca with spicy tuna


This came out piping hot. I had to take a picture for illustration


Capers and olives added a lovely touch

I'll miss this kitchen the day we move because its done so much for me despite being 4 times my age. Every moment I've had here with friends, family and the bf remains memorable. I can only hope that those who live here after will enjoy it as much.

From home

Lola:



CNY:

Baking:

Singapore:

The great thing about being home (both the bf's and mine) is that breakfast is always served promptly in the AM. Here we have fried chicken nuggets with piping hot Milo in matching boy and girl mugs! It made me feel like a kid all over again

My snack while shopping - a boxful o' M&S cereal. The sales people weren't too fond of me. Must be the choc-stained fingers


I had an Affogato at Häagen-Dazs every day while waiting for the bf

HKIA:

Greedy me couldn't resist wanton noodles and char siew while at the HK airport despite being late for boarding. I practically swallowed everything (boarding time), ran to board the plane (20 mins after boarding time) and fell sick throughout the flight back (14 whole hours)

Horror:

What is this?


A monster sea cucumber in my herbal soup! Pretty damn hard to swallow even after my dad convinced me of its health benefits


Viv's crazy post-surgery Frankenstein-like fingers! I wish I had taken a better picture so you could see the metal bits sticking out I just received a special request (I couldn't refuse) to remove this scary pic
:)

Dozo:

Macaroon-hunt:

Store-bought Bakerzin macaroons



Evan from Bossacafez's macaroons



Mad Baker's macaroons

Pleasant distractions

I've been waking up at 4AM every morning since the day I landed in SF. Hopefully this'll end tomorrow with the help of a whopping sleeping pill load of carbs.

It's no surprise I've been missing home and the bf. Everyone's been really sweet and accommodating so I'm thankful -- Borina even took me to Costco when we met for dinner that night! Thanks dearie :)

With life throwing us curve balls from every angle, I've come to the conclusion that there's no point in moping. Life's just too short for that.

For the time being, it doesn't hurt to be distracted once in a while. I have dinner plans and some other mild indulgences lined up for the next few weeks. There's still stuff to unpack from the luggage and laundry to be done -- plus furniture to sell. SO much going on in a few short weeks.

Currently, can't get off my mind:

Keira Knightley's emerald dress from Atonement

...

With Feist crooning in my ears and my pink n.a.p. travel pillow around my neck, I was comfortably seated at the exit row merely anticipating landing in 3 hours. What I didn’t expect was the random outburst caused by yours truly bearing no signs of provocation. But it happened.

Between sobs and gasps for breath, I tried to understand what triggered the unexpected. How did it take so long for me to realize I won’t be seeing the bf for a while? That we will no longer, at least in the near future, be able to do the things we’ve been taking for granted all these years. Just the sheer thought of eating Chinese takeout in front of the TV after a long day at work brings tears to my eyes.

I want nothing more than to be with him now.

***

In-the-moment at home pictures from not too long ago:

On steroids

I was going to title this post "ENT antibiotic and steroids," but as it's still Chinese New Year, I figured I'd keep the medical discussions on the down low. After all, bad health ain't auspicious and having been home for a bit, I learned a thing or 2 about feng shui (superstitious) stuff like that.

I'm missing home quite a bit despite being in Singapore. But as any worry-wart does, I'm focusing less of what's around me now, but rather what "terrible things" I'll face in the near future. Just the kind of typical pessimistic behavior I'd like to rid myself of. The resolutions I set for 2008 didn't quite make it during Jan-Feb it makes sense to start fresh upon my return to SF.

List of things I'd like to take with me to the U.S. but can't:

1. Family
2. Mommy dearest's freshly-squeezed fruit juices in the AM
3. My dad's specialty: Buddha jump over the wall
4. Lola our puppy
5. Swimming pool overlooking a lake with bright blue floors from the scorching sun
6. Homemade Chinese soups
7. Edwin and gang
8. Family gatherings
9. Gambling sessions
10. Girlfriends
11. Karaoke in the basement
12. Overstocked fridge and pantries
13. Not doing chores ever (this isn't a "thing" but it makes a damn lotta difference! Think daily laundry service)
14. Bread story
15. The bf

*Our Valentine's Day was spent "romantically" at Tan Tock Seng where the bf sat by my side, patiently waiting for me to be called into the dr's office. Consultation fees were SD$280 and prescription SD$85. The gentlemanly bf who's been working day and night for the past week (and had no plans for V-day) graciously offered to "gift" me with these fees.

"Swoon" :P

2 worlds

I'm missing the bf immensely even though he's no more than 10 feet away from where I'm sitting. Tomorrow I leave for home, and if we count the days, I'll only have 5 days with him before I depart for SF. 5 days and not even whole ones. By my calculations, half the time we'll spend sleeping, and a lil' less than half he'll spend working. That makes it a maximum of 1 full day left with the bf. Isn't that just peachy.

This past week, I've witnessed instances that caused me to be blown away by the bf's patience, selflessness, and ability to overcommunicate in all aspects of his life. Despite everything, he still manages the occasional joke causing chronic laughter (typical of Chris) or a subtle wink when he approves of an outfit. I can't think of anyone I admire more in life, and I'm proud to say he's my boyfriend.

The toughest part now -- is making the right decision. This is going to hurt for awhile. That and my constant worrying over permanent anosmia.

Hokkien mee night

The bf's family had a Hokkien mee party last night. Mind you, it's not the same kind you see in Malaysia with dark sauce. But because it's uncle's secret recipe, it's pretty damn dee-li-cious anyway.

Mise en place


Aunty prepping the kitchen


Uncle keeping a watchful sifu eye on the bf


With the kitchen all scrubbed...


...and the bf well equipped


...the crowd gathered to watch him in action


Fry!


The chef adding qi to his masterpiece


And voila! Singaporean-style Hokkien mee. Yum


The 1st person to be served is of course uncle, for his wisdom in Hokkien mee and patient teachings


The chef serving other guests


This is 1 proud family


Moving on...


It's Nat's turn! Here's Aunt Virgie and Nat prepping for ingredients for the second batch


It seems there are more interested spectators to this batch. Guess whose batch turned out better?


The crowd was fair and agreed both batches were "different." As much as I love the bf, I preferred Nat's. This just means more practice dear! *Kiss


Dugong and her signature squatting pose


Dugong and her granny


Yum

As everyone was busy eating, I couldn't resist shots of the house:

And so the night ended with pineapple tarts as it always does during CNY season. I am a diabetic waiting to happen.